Archive for 2009

One of my clients called it the “dreaded conversation.”

Whether it’s to your family, friends, colleagues or acquaintances, communicating the fact that you are unemployed is never easy. But, the anticipation of it can be even worse.

Here are a few tips that might lessen the difficulty around this often-troubling communiqué:

• Get your story straight and don’t rush to tell it. Be clear in your own mind what happened. Whether you have been laid off or fired, you will need some time to sort out the facts from your hurt feelings or anger. As time passes, you will become more objective and even somewhat detached from the circumstances.
• Be selective about what you tell and to whom. While it might seem cathartic to “tell all” to anyone who asks about your situation, it’s not a good idea to vent to people who could be resources to you in a future job search. Keep your wits about you and consider the impact of what you say and to whom.
• Find a truthful way to briefly explain why you are unemployed–if someone asks. Otherwise, don’t offer an explanation. There are always several truths behind every layoff or firing. Pick one that does not sound negative, blaming or self-effacing. If indeed, it was time for a change for you, leave it at that.
• Lead the conversation to the subject of what’s next for you. Keep your attention on possibilities for the future, rather than happenings of the past. With any conversation, think about how the person might connect you with his or her network or what advice he or she might have to offer in regards to a new direction.
• Stay positive in your conversations and clearly focus on what you want. You will be more likely to attract a good lead or networking contact who will connect you with a job prospect if you seem upbeat and have a sense of where you want to go. This does not mean you have to know the job title of your next position. Rather, have a sense of your skills, interests and values as they relate to the marketplace.

Remember, after the first couple of “dreaded conversations”, you will have met the challenge and can move on to the more significant task of finding new work.

My friend and colleague, Deb Bergeron, founder of Ocean of Possibilites Life Coaching, recently reminded me of the importance of leaving a job with intention. These days, exactly why or when your job ends is not always in your control, but how you ultimately leave can be.

If you are terminated as the result of a layoff, downsizing or reduction in force, it is natural to have a range of feelings that accompany this situation. These feelings often mirror those experienced with any significant loss and can include a feeling of not having control over your life. Your feelings can be intense and, rather than let them flow through you, you might get attached to one and stay stuck in that emotion for a period of time.

Churning over an emotion again and again serves no positive purpose and might prevent you from getting on with your transition and assuming control over your life.

Instead of letting your emotions take over, ask yourself what you need to do in order to leave your job in a mindful way. Think about what the job has meant to you and which colleagues have been important and in what ways.

Consider taking someone to lunch or sharing memories during a walk or break. You might also take the high road and express gratitude to your supervisor for what you’ve learned or had the opportunity to offer in your job.

This can be difficult if you are asked to leave the day you hear about the layoff—a practice that is more and more common in the marketplace. If this is your situation, know that you can still be in touch with former colleagues. But, be thoughtful about where you take your conversation, so that you are meeting your goal in the process.

The manner in which you decide to leave your employer will have a lasting impact on you and your experience of that job—let it be a graceful and positive leaving.

If you’ve lost your job, or feel stuck in a job because of the sluggish economy, one of the best things you can do is focus on those things that are in your control. Resist what can become a habit of worrying or thinking that you have no options. This behavior is unproductive and will only contribute to your feeling more helpless and afraid.

Instead, take time to think about a game plan: a one to two year strategy that reflects what you want for the near future. While it may not be a good time to leave your job in hopes of a finding a better fit, it is a fine time to step back and get clear about your professional goals.

Here are a few books that could help you along in the process:

Callings, by Greg Levoy

I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was, by Barbara Sher

Work With Passion, by Nancy Anderson

Claiming Your Place At The Fire, Living The Second Half of Your Life On Purpose, by Richard Leider and David Shapiro

If you can afford it, consider going back to school to augment your credentials, acquire a new skill set, or explore an entirely different career direction. From traditional four-year colleges, online courses and local community colleges, to classes resulting in a certification offered through community education programs, there are many possibilities to increase your chances of landing a great job once the market opens up again.

If you need to find a job, networking is still the most effective strategy to learn about vacancies and even get a foot in the door through a contact.

Whatever your goal and related strategy, make time to reflect, create an action plan and schedule it into your life.

I could reinvent myself in France. As I mentioned a blog or so ago, it would be impossible to make a living in France as a career counselor since the French are not particularly accustomed to changing jobs, let alone career paths.

But, since they do enjoy food, its preparation and presentation, there’s a related job change just waiting for this bi-lingual American. While I don’t plan to put my limited culinary talents to the test in the land of great chefs, I could imagine touring the country’s vast array of restaurants on the lookout for menus in need of accurate English translations.

Here are a few examples of well intentioned, yet off the mark translations I noticed on French menus this year during my vacation and annual women’s retreat to the south of France:

Menu listing Their English version Correct translation

• Crottins Warm goat droppings Toasted baguette topped with warm goat’s cheese
• Pavé de thon Paving stones of tuna Slices of fresh tuna
• Poulet rôti aux Chicken with Provence grass Chicken grilled with herbes de Provence herbes de Provence
• Salade du terroir: Salad from the ground : Farm salad with oeufs farcis, egg stuffing, little lard s stuffed eggs & bacon pieces petits lardoons
• Sorbet au gout Sorbet with a taste of goat leaf Sherbert with a hint of de chèvrefeuille honeysuckle

As I consider my idea for a total career makeover, I realize two essential elements for a successful career change are missing:

1. Is there a marketplace gap or identified need for this service? Sadly, I think not. From what I’ve seen, the French are not at all concerned about whether or not they correctly translate their menus. I can imagine being met with a typical shrug of the shoulders if I even pointed out the errors. The idea of trying to sell a menu translation correction service is beyond my wildest imagination.

2. Do I know enough about what I’d be getting into in such an endeavor? After hearing about the entanglement of red tape involved in establishing a business in France, I imagine that it would be difficult to accurately create a business plan.

In any case, it was fun to ponder the idea. Sometimes, all you need to do is take an idea seriously enough to believe you could actually do it and then see what happens. In my case, I felt relieved to be returning to my current profession and not trying to invent a new one even if it did combine food and a land I so love.