Archive for the ‘Work & Identity’ Category

I don’t think many people consciously consider what success is to them. Yet, ask anyone you know and they’ll most likely be able to tell you whether or not they feel successful.

For some, success equates with money earned, for others it’s connected to power and influence or the ability to make a meaningful contribution to society. People accept jobs for a variety of reasons that may or may not allow them to meet their own criteria for success.

For example, imagine that your job involved a particularly long commute that created conflicts with your family commitments and your ability to exercise regularly or explore a hobby. If you decided to look for another job, you would naturally want to find something that is closer to home, otherwise, why quit? If a job offer came along with an organization nearby, you might be so ready for a change that you would accept the position without considering the whole picture. With a single-minded focus, you could overlook the important question: Does this job measure up to my values and notion of success?

With any luck the answer would be “yes”. However, that is not always the case when a person trades off their criteria for success and accomplishment in favor of one particular amenity that is sorely lacking in their current position.

So, take time now to think about what you need in order to feel successful. Determine whether or not there are actions you might take to improve your current success scenario—like taking a course to upgrade your skills, volunteering on a committee to improve conditions in your workplace, or preparing well for your next performance review during which you negotiate for a raise.

Being pro-active will increase your feelings of success and allow you to focus on those factors over which you have some control.

When you’re looking for a job or contemplating a career change, you need to articulate the skills, talents and personality traits that make you an impressive candidate. While this may sound easy enough to do, it is not for many people.

One of the reasons is due to our cultural conditioning to downplay our talents, ostensibly to keep us from being arrogant or self-centered. I’m not sure how many people are saved from inflated egos as a result of damping down how they view themelves, but I do know that the idea of keeping a lid on our best traits can backfire when it comes to the job search.

Looking for a job requires anyone to put their best foot forward in a confident and believable way. Being uncomfortable with communicating your strengths is likely to cost you the job.

So, how can you reverse a case of “modesty” when preparing for prospective interviews? If you have difficulty addressing the questions: “What are your relevant strengths?” or “What skills have you developed in which you are very confident?”, you might imagine what other people, like co-workers and good friends, might say on your behalf. Write out what “their” answers, then literally ask some of them and compare the responses.

Another way to identify what you do well is to create a chronology of your work experience—much like you’d do for a traditional resume. Then, in detail, using past tense verbs, describe the tasks you executed in each job. This website gives many examples of verbs to consider. When you are through, notice the trends—skills that you have used in multiple and/or different positions. This exercise should help you name your strengths as well as build your self-confidence.

Know that there are times when it is not only appropriate to speak well and confidently about yourself. Shift the notion that this is bragging and replace it with the idea that you’re telling the truth and helping someone select the best applicant for the job.

I was struck by a question a client asked me recently. She was commenting on how she tended to avoid certain social gatherings lately because she knew she’d be asked the dreaded question: “What do you do?” that typically followed an introduction. Unemployed for some time, she frequently found herself in these situations, although she never became comfortable with them. Knowing that I had recently spent time in France, she asked how people introduce themselves or are introduced in that country.

It was an interesting question that I had to ponder a minute. Recalling the various people I met during my annual combined business and leisure trip to the south of France, I was surprised by what I remembered.

I could not recall one instance when I was asked or when I thought it appropriate to ask about a person’s “métier” or work at our first introduction. In France, it’s often the case that a person is introduced and immediately identified in terms of their connection with another person (e.g. Roger’s aunt, or the cousin of the banker). It does not seem to be the French culture to be so bold or personal, especially on the first meeting. Yet, in the U. S., most of us don’t give a second thought to delving right into the subject of one’s profession as soon as we know their name. In doing this, we act as though there is no boundary between who we are and what we do.

Our culture’s implicit connection between work and identity can have a damaging impact on a person’s self esteem when they are in a job transition or when they decide to take time out from the workplace to raise children. While it is natural to experience loss when any particular aspect of our life ends, it is not healthy to believe we are without value or worth when we finds ourselves without a job. Yet, this is a common feeling for people who are not working.

While the experience of being without a job has its particular difficulties, it also has rich opportunities for growth and increased self-awareness. When a person can no longer look to the superficial contexts of job title, employer or salary to define them, they are more apt to discover the deeper more meaningful aspects of themselves.

Yesterday I attended what was supposed to be an advanced workshop on the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) a personality inventory I often use in my career counseling practice to help people establish a good fit between who they are and what they do.

While I was disappointed with the slow pace of the presenter and rather basic concepts he addressed, I was glad to connect with old and new colleagues from a variety of professions who use the MBTI in their work. Even though over 2 million copies of it are sold annually and it has been translated into 37 languages, the Myers Briggs Type Indicator is not always well understood for its depth and usefulness. To some people, unfamiliar with Carl Jung’s personality theory upon which it is based, the MBTI is nothing more than a parlor game that “types” people into categories and invites judgments about others different from them. Even though a person ends up with a four-letter “type” after taking the MBTI, judgment of self or others is the exact opposite of Jung’s intent in contributing to its development. Rather, the MBTI is meant to be a way to better understand ourselves and develop greater appreciation and tolerance for other’s differences.

Because the Myers Briggs Type Indicator is so popular and applied in many contexts from marriage counseling and college roommate matching to management team building, I routinely ask my clients if they have ever taken the inventory. It is not uncommon for someone to say, “Yes, I’ve taken it, but I don’t remember my type”, or “My score was ‘in the middle’ and I was told that I’m part one type and part the other”, or even “I’ve changed type every time I’ve taken it”. Those responses most likely reflect a lack of knowledge of the person who administered and explained the inventory. According to Jung, a person is born with a certain type and that type does not change over time. However, a person’s score, which measures the development of certain preferences, may change. While the MBTI is a reliable instrument, it is not foolproof and therefore needs a well-trained professional to discuss the outcome and help the individual come to a decision about their “best fit type”.

The context in which I use the MBTI is work and career, and I consistently find it to be a useful and practical addition to the career counseling process. Some of the positive outcomes I’ve noticed include: increased understanding of the significance of the person’s “type” in past jobs that were negative experiences, a greater appreciation of personal characteristics and traits once seen as “less than”, an acceptance of personality differences between co-workers and supervisors, and insights into more effective communication strategies to try at work.

For those who have taken the MBTI and want to explore its relevance to work, read Do What You Are, by Paul and Barbara Tieger for an in-depth view of how knowledge of one’s type can help clarify appropriate options and shape career decisions.