Archive for the ‘Work/Life Balance’ Category

Some people live life in the fast lane, seeking adventure at every turn. But if you’re like me, you prefer that your adrenaline rushes are less frequent and carefully paced. So, you might methodically plan some type of event or activity that stretches you out of the complacency that can creep into life.

Experiencing something new and unfamiliar invites you to push against your comfort zone, and is often beneficial in unexpected ways.

A former client I’ll call Jane, who felt stuck in her job search, agreed to a friend’s offer to accompany her on a brief business trip to Greece. Having never left the U.S., Jane was nervous. But she decided nonetheless to say yes in hopes of shifting the lethargy she’d been feeling in her failed attempts to find new work.

Even though the trip was short, not even a week, Jane returned home in a different frame of mind and with a renewed sense of hope for her future.

It seemed that the challenge of getting her basic needs met in a different culture and language caused her to put aside her frustration with her lack of success on the job front. Out of necessity, she lived in the moment, and experienced a reprieve from worry about her future.

While you may not have an opportunity to travel abroad at someone else’s expense, you might consider what you could do for a period of time that was unfamiliar and that would necessitate your being present to the experience.

In releasing future worries or frustrations, you might return with a new insight or feel less stressed and more prepared to tackle what you inevitably must do.

Sometimes there are consistent trends in the conversations I have with clients at any given time. This past week it was the need for a vacation.

You may be thinking it’s because summer is around the corner that the topic came up.

But, actually, the arrival of warmer weather had nothing to do with it. The reason for the foray into time off had to do with the level of exhaustion and stress I’ve been noticing.

With organizations having to cut budgets and staff, those remaining are facing more work with fewer resources. In addition, everyone seems to be living in fear that they will be the next one to lose their job.

These conditions are keeping people up at night and causing extraordinary stress during the day. That combination is a set up for fatigue, loss of energy and even illness.

There’s only one remedy that I know of that works: time off to relax, renew and regroup.

While any time away from work can provide a respite from daily demands, research shows that a few days is not enough time for the body to fully restore itself from an onslaught of day-to-day stress. It is only after seven days that the body begins to show signs of shifting from a cycle of fighting stress.

This fact does not align with the latest American trend of taking long weekends, or 3-4 consecutive days on average as the annual vacation.

As we decrease the number of our consecutive days off, some of us are also forfeiting earned annual vacation time—to the tune of four days a year.

To make matters worse, many of us spend our minimal time off running around doing errands, completing frustrating or tiring home projects or visiting family, that for some, is anything but restful.

So, since it is almost summer, consider time off that will be restorative and fun at the same time. The benefits will last way beyond the actually days off.

Did you think I was referring to a treasure left under the tree, or the perfect present found for a beloved?

No, neither one, but here are some clues: The best gift costs no money nor requires that someone else remember what you desire. It does not need a special occasion like Christmas to find its way to you.

The best gift is one that you give yourself costing a little of your time and your focused attention. With a minimal contribution on your part, it can give back to you many times over.

The best gift is the gift of self-reflection—a gift that allows you to think about your life, your work, your values, your desires, and how they align with how you currently live your life.

The best gift comes in an array of packages and forms: a commitment to journal, a daily walk, structured retreat or focused conversation with a trusted friend or guide, a meditation class or regular practice, or just quiet time in a favorite chair.

The point of the gift is not about any particular outcome, but rather the surprise of what might unfold in the process of being with yourself.

With so much of your attention going in an outward direction, it might be a welcomed change to shift course for a moment. What surfaces could surprise, delight, or confound you. In any case, you’ll receive a gift that’s uniquely yours, and some would argue, is priceless.

If this type of gift leaves you clueless as to how to begin, consider the following questions to get started:

1. What is this time of my life about? What is most important to me?
2. What would I most love to do for work? What step might I take to begin this?
3. Who supports me in my life transitions and challenges? Do I spend adequate time with them? Can I ask for what I need from them?
4. For what am I grateful in my life? Do I acknowledge them on a regular basis?
5. What assumptions about what is or is not possible hold me back? How would my life be different if the assumptions were not accurate?

You can ponder these questions or others that seem more pertinent in many ways.

But, like any gift, it requires attention to see what’s inside.

Recently I heard “http://www.civicventures.org/staff.cfm” Marc Freedman, CEO and Founder of Civic Ventures, speak at Maine’s “http://www.civicleadership.org/Pages/index” Institute for Civic Leadership’s annual event.

While Marc’s work focuses on the 50+ generation’s emerging options for post-retirement years, there are aspects of his message that apply to all generations.

Simply said, most of us seek jobs that provide fulfillment and satisfaction and give us a sense of joy. That may seem to be a tall order for a workforce that ranks rather high in worker dissatisfaction.

But Freedman and other career professionals who write about finding your passion, working to live, and working on purpose, all have ideas about how to beat the current cultural odds.

Freedman has extensive research and countless interviews to back up his claim that the quest for meaningful work that gives one joy is often satisfied when “your deepest gladness meets the world’s deep need”, a quote attributed to theologian  “http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frederick_Buechner” Frederick Buechner.

It’s been proven that the desire to give back, offer a service, and make the world (or one’s community) a better place increases significantly as we age. This idea has it roots in the work of Erik Erikson, who described the eight stages of “http://web.cortland.edu/andersmd/ERIK/sum.HTML” psycho-social development, that includes a phase in “middle adulthood” when one feels the need to “support the next generation”.

So, for those of you who feel dissatisfied in your work, consider these two questions that might provide clues to a new, more fulfilling work reality:

What activity/ies fully engages you? How might you apply them to a need in the world?

First of all, good for you for taking a vacation. Did you know that millions of hours of earned vacation time go unused each year, with many Americans opting for long weekends as a substitute for extended time off? Perhaps there is a link between that statistic and the one that says that 90% of visits to the doctor these days are stress-related. Research shows that you need 7+ consecutive days of time off in order to begin to truly renew mind, body and spirit.

If you are among those who do manage to schedule vacation, you may fret about not being able to sustain your “vacation mood” once back to the office routine.

Here are some thoughts that might help with your re-entry:

Think about what contributed to your laid back and stress-free mode. The answer is not always the obvious: a warm climate, sandy beach, or new and beautiful surroundings. Often, it’s more about the quality of the time spent away from day-to-day schedules that allows you to pause, relax and slow down. It’s about losing track of time because you are not constantly being reminded of your next appointment or commitment by the barrage of cell phones, faxes, email or land line phones. It’s about treating yourself to activities that are nurturing, fun and special in some way because they appeal to part of you that gets neglected in the whir of daily living. It’s about changing your routine so that you have to think about what you want to do, rather than go through the habitual motions of familiar activities. Although they may enhance a person’s experience, the value in vacations and time away is not in the amenities of the location or resort, but rather in the way you embrace an opportunity to let go of demands and appreciate the moment.

Whether your time off takes you to an exotic island, a foreign country, or to your favorite chair with a bestseller, you will be well served to let it change your routine, slow down your pace and invite awareness of interests and needs that have gone unnoticed.

Be conscious of the pace of your life when you are not working and imagine you carrying it forth in some way into your work life. Consider one way you might slow down an activity, rather than think of how you’ll have to ramp things up as you return to work.

Changing patterns is not easy, but awareness is a first step to change. Think about a pattern of re-entry you want to shift and create a new way of approaching it before you return.

With this type of vacation mindset, re-entry may be less on your mind as the line drawn between your time off and your day-to-day reality becomes less distinct.

Sabbatical: It’s a perk that you can count on if you are a college professor, but it’s a rare benefit for anyone else in today’s marketplace. Yet, we all need such a break in our work lives to remind us of what is truly important and to renew our commitment to our work in the world.

While the traditional definition of sabbatical is “a prolonged hiatus, typically one year, in the career of an individual taken in order to fulfill some goal”, it originates from the word, “Sabbath” meaning simply, a day of rest.

Adopting this more basic meaning, it is reasonable to imagine that everyone could take sabbaticals, and on a regular basis, to restore what author Wayne Muller refers to in his book, Sabbath, as “our right rhythm of work and rest.”

Over the years, I’ve worked with hundreds of individuals and encouraged most of them to take time off as they contemplate their career transitions or consider new strategies in their businesses. Typically, my suggestions were first met with a fearful resistance that results from a life too full to consider new possibilities.

But, after the litany of reasons why time off is not possible, there is sometimes a small space left for an alternative viewpoint. Seeing this opening as a window of opportunity, I begin to gently make suggestions for simple ways to regain a balance and rhythm of life that would serve them well in their transition.

Think small steps, with big impact.

“You will find yourself again in the simple and forgotten things”,

these words of Carl Jung reinforce the notion that getting back to center does not require an elaborate or costly scheme, often equated with the word sabbatical. Jung’s quote reminds us that we can reconnect with what is essential by taking actions that, in their simplicity, may be overlooked, dismissed or considered insignificant.

Here are a few ways you can incorporate the concept of sabbatical into your work and life. Be aware of taking breaths in and out while doing this exercise:

Find a few minutes of alone and quiet time to ask yourself what you need to feel renewed. Let your responses come from your heart or the center of your being, rather than from your mind.

Try not to edit your responses or begin to problem-solve as to how you can or cannot make this happen in your life at this time.

Identify what is at the core of your response (e.g. is it about physical rest, quiet time, or connection with someone important to you?).

Come up with one step you could take within one week to address this core need and put it on your calendar as you would another important commitment.

Over the next year, try to extend the periods of time you allocate for this type of exercise.

Consider planning a vacation around your needs, asking the question: what type of vacation

If you’ve just returned from ten days enjoying the summer and doing your favorite things, you may not need to read this blog. However, if you are like most Americans, an extended restful vacation is more of a dream and in reality, you have not taken adequate time to renew your spirit or rest your body.

It seems that many of us are getting into the habit of taking long weekends, or 3-4 consecutive days on average as our annual vacation. As we decrease the number of our consecutive days off, some of us are also forfeiting earned annual vacation time—to the tune of four days a year. To make matters worse, many of us spend our minimal time off running around doing errands, completing frustrating or tiring home projects or visiting family, that for some, is anything but restful.

While any time away from work can provide a respite from the demands of the workplace, research shows that a few days is not enough time for the body to fully restore itself from day to day work-related stress. It is only after seven days that the body begins to show signs of not fighting stress.

When I meet with a client who shows “http://www.helpguide.org/mental/burnout_signs_symptoms.htm” signs of burnout or has trouble being clear on what it is they desire, I ask about their last vacation. It’s not just when or how long I’m wanting to know, but also what—as in what did you do during your last vacation? Rarely do I hear stories of rest and renewal.

Sometimes the first step to moving ahead is paradoxical—you gear up by downshifting. It makes sense. You think more clearly, resist negative impulses and gain momentum if you are well rested and enjoying a lighter side of life for a change.

So, go ahead and treat yourself to a real vacation that will renew you. Remember that it doesn’t have to cost a fortune or require an elaborate scheme. Simple pleasures always delight the soul.

What? A break? Oh, like a couple of days to buy some new clothes, get caught up on medical appointments or have lunch with a friend before delving into the next job?

If that’s your concept of a “break between jobs”, perhaps you’ll consider a different plan.

Those of you who have read my blogs know that I am a proponent of time off as a way to renew energy, reduce stress and increase productivity. The fact is, Americans work too much. Unlike Europeans, we “live to work”, rather than the other way around. Our fevered pace of life and work has us stretched to the max with all of the emotional and physical consequences that accompany a stressful life.

Given our frenetic lifestyles, it’s a minor miracle that anyone finds the time in his or her busy life to look for a new job, let alone determine a new career path. To complicate matters, if your job is stressful, or you are among the numbers of Americans experiencing “http://www.helpguide.org/mental/burnout_signs_symptoms.htm” burnout, you have even less energy to devote to a transition.

While there are career counselors and consultants who advise against leaving a job before having another lined up, that is not my view. At times it’s not only a good idea, but also essential to a person’s wellbeing and ability to envision new options, to take time off between jobs—even without another in sight.

Giving yourself needed rest and time for renewing activities can be effective in helping to restore energy as well as establish clarity and focus to a job search. Conversely, pushing yourself to move forward from a place of weariness and even exhaustion will only further cloud your thinking.

I realize that taking time off is not an option for everyone. But, if you can find a way to manage it financially, I’d suggest you consider give it the attention it warrants and create an intentional transition to your next job.

Interestingly enough, just pondering this statement may provide a momentary relief from the complexity of our lives that keeps many of us in a constant hurried mode.

In the essence of the statement, we can catch our breath and imagine how full our lives might be in a simpler world without all of the materials goods and professional ambitions we are told we need, should want, and can’t live without. In a Zen-like moment, we get a glimpse of living in the paradox of the blog title where we let go of all we have and experience all we need.

Studies show that most of us long for more—time with friends and family– and that we want to enjoy the life that feels like it is passing us by. Our hectic lives contrasted with our desire for something different begs the question “Why are we working?” and “Why can’t we just slow down and live more simply?”

“http://bostonreview.net/BR24.3/schor.html” Juliet Schor, author and professor at Boston College who writes on the “New Politics of Consumption”, says it’s because we are caught in a cycle of overspending that keeps us in a perpetual spin of needing to work and be productive. Our insatiable habit to accumulate more and more keeps us working hours in excess than we did just a decade ago with no signs of lessening in the near future.

What would it take to create a shift in our status quo? While some of us may look externally (from our employer, our government, our family…) for a change that will make our lives better, we are more likely to experience a timely result when we take charge of our own lives.

Begin with these simple questions:

What are the three most important things to me in my life at this time?

How aligned is my life to what I value (e.g. these three things)?

What is one simple step I can take in the next two weeks to bring about greater alignment with what I most value?

Repeat this exercise every six months.

When was the last time you left town for a destination that transported you out of your daily routine? I’m not talking exclusively about an expensive vacation to some exotic island or a solitary retreat at an ashram, but rather to anyplace where the context of your life was changed, where you could not get away with just going through the motions of your life.

The effects of this type of excursion can be beneficial in many ways. First it can tap resources within you not called upon in any given day, like figuring out how and where to eat or sleep or get the information you need to be safe and comfortable. Having to think about basic needs is satisfying as it wakes you up out of the monotony of familiar surroundings and presents a refreshing alternative to the usual flow of your life.

If your time away takes you to a place in nature, you might experience your mood and spirit lifting. Author and theologian, Thomas Moore, who wrote Care of the Soul, states that we can adopt a sense of hope from the natural world. As winter turns to spring, the plants and trees awakening and the migration of birds prompt us to remember that there is a cycle to all life, including our own. We can take solace in the fact that whatever troubles, job stress, sadness or confusion we are currently feeling will pass, because change is inevitable in the flow of life.

I speak confidently about the advantages of expanding the context of your life both from personal experience and from the testimonies of clients. I believe that many instances of confusion or feeling stuck could be remedied from a change of scene that brings a fresh perspective to any issue.

Unfortunately, our busy lives do not allow for adequate reflection of most things, especially those that are complex or confusing and require more than we feel we have to give. As our lives spin at a fast pace, we have all we can do to maintain the status quo. Yet, the status quo does not inspire the insight we need. It is from pausing to contemplate a situation that we discover the less-than-obvious solutions or creative answers.

So, go ahead, leave your routine. You may come back more productive, clearer and happier for it.