No matter what your situation is—employed, looking for work, contemplating a new career—being in a positive frame of mind will only help you as you pursue your goal.

When things in your life seem to be out of your control and it’s affecting your attitude or mood, here are three actions you might consider to shift your perspective and support your efforts to make a change:

1. Be grateful. Numerous studies show the positive impact of gratitude on physical and emotional health. Shifting thoughts from judgment or negative ideas to recognizing something for which you are grateful can result in a surprising change in your perspective.
2. Finish something. Everyone has loose ends in their lives. Even when you are not consciously thinking about what you’ve not completed, you may feel a nagging sensation. When you close the loop on something, whether it’s a conversation, something you need to organize, or anything else that feels incomplete, you will ultimately feel a sense of satisfaction that may elevate your mood.
3. Exercise. Didn’t you just know this would be on the list? It’s accurate to say that exercise is a “magic bullet” of health and well-being. Getting into a routine of this endorphin-releasing activity is hard to do, but studies show that even 10-15 minutes of exercise daily has benefits that include mood enhancement.

Is your goal a different position with your current employer? Work at a new company? A plan for alternative work or service in your retirement years? Or a totally new career path that requires further education?

Whatever your goal, you can build momentum by taking specific steps toward it.

You’ve heard of the ripple effect: a situation where an initial action can incrementally lead to other results like expanding ripples across water when an object is dropped into it. This same effect can take shape with steps leading to your goal.

Based on successful career transitions I’ve witnessed, here are a few steps to move your goal forward in this New Year:

• Make space in your life.

Do you talk about how busy you are and wish for more time to get things done? Though it may seem odd, pausing, rather than doing more, is a paradoxical way to more effectively reach your goal. When your mind and daily schedule are full, there’s no room for new ideas, let alone the additional tasks necessary to make important changes. It’s amazing how a few minutes of reflective time, writing in a journal, a walk in nature, or taking slow deep breaths, can shift feeling stuck or overwhelmed.

• Ask “what” rather than “how”.

Inherent in a transition is the demanding question “how”. But early stage transitions are typically not developed enough to address “how” questions and may cause you to give up prematurely.

Protect your ideas and shift your question to “what”. Once you’re clear about the specifics of your goal, the “how” questions become less important and you’ll be more motivated to consider your next step.

• Take action on what is in your control.

Do something each day toward your goal and don’t underestimate the significance of any step. Focus on things that you can do – like setting up an informational interview, exploring a company website or revising your resume—and let go of things you cannot control.

The esteemed German writer, Goethe said: “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!”

Research shows that if you feel in control of your life and believe you can make things happen, as opposed to believing that others control your circumstances, you are more likely to ask for what you want, and, therefore, influence the outcome.

However, if you believe your fate is in someone else’s hands, you may not even imagine there are options other than those presented to you. This difference in attitude around what’s possible is largely shaped by gender roles and learned behavior, according to the book Women Don’t Ask, by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever. In their book, the authors present many impressive examples of women at all stages of their careers, being passed over for promotions, new jobs and salary increases simply because they did not ask for what they wanted.

Of course, men too, can learn from this limiting mindset and avoid being among the sixty percent of job applicants who do not attempt to negotiate better terms. This statistic is striking in light of the fact that eighty nine percent of employers expect that applicants will, in fact, ask for a better starting salary or increased benefits of some kind.

Follow these tips to get that raise or negotiate the compensation you deserve.

1. Think about what you really want and believe you deserve, not just what you assume is possible.
2. Be able to articulate the value you have or might add to the opportunity at hand as a rationale for your request.
3. Know what the marketplace pays for your position by doing research online and locally (salary.com, indeed.com, rileyguide.com) as further justification for any increase.
4. Request a meeting to review your job offer. Express appreciation for and interest in the offer before you present your counter-offer. Keep in mind that vacation time, a flexible work schedule, additional time without pay, and other benefits, can all be part of your negotiation.

My advice is to keep some momentum going throughout the Holiday season. In fact, the six weeks between Thanksgiving and New Years can be a particularly effective time to make strategic and useful connections.

With many executives curtailing work travel schedules to make themselves available for end-of-the-year planning and office events, you may have easier access to decision makers at this time.

You might also have a competitive edge in the job market, as many applicants assume not much is happening and opt to wrap presents and sip eggnog instead of pursue job leads.

Take advantage of holiday gatherings to connect with people you don’t see very much during the year – former colleagues, neighbors, distant relatives, old friends. They can all be helpful in your job search, providing you are forthcoming with information about what you need.

When the time is right, tell them what type or position you are looking for or ask to be introduced to someone who may be a great networking contact.  If they seem interested in helping you out, let them know you’ll follow up with them in a few days—and do!

With an attitude of “anything is possible”, and a challenge to your assumptions about this time of year, you may find yourself in a prime position of opportunity to celebrate the season and enter the New Year with sense of promise and good connections too.

Job seekers aren’t aware of the “new” ways to locate available jobs and employers are using ineffective strategies for attracting the right talent.

What’s the solution to get the right candidate matched with the right employer?

Much has changed in the way people are hired since the onset of the recession and this has caused an impasse in the hiring process.

Despite its limited effectiveness, many employers still use the “post and pray” strategy for filling job vacancies while job seekers, desperate for jobs, randomly submit generalized resumes to any listing they see. Neither approach is particularly focused or ultimately successful.

I’ve also heard from human resource professionals that they are now posting positions exclusively on their websites, rather than using job search engines. Furthermore, any applicant must submit their resume and cover letter electronically from the company’s web portal, or they will not be considered. That approach obviously limits who will apply, which may relieve human resources staff of culling scores of unqualified people, but at the same time, is not likely to bring in a fresh new round of candidates.

Then, there’s what appears to be the newest trend in hiring—avoiding internet postings altogether and relying solely on the power of targeted networking to bring in a few of the most qualified candidates.

This approach seems to be netting positive results, especially when candidates are initiating “strategic conversations” with key people within their interest area and upping their chances of “being in the right place at the right time.”

In fact, over the past 8 months, several of my clients secured job offers through this strategic networking approach. Here’s how it works:

Identify companies or individuals who align with your interests and skills (you may need help from a career counselor for this task).

• Think about anyone in your network who could introduce you and then set up an informational meeting.

• Be clear about why you are there: to gather more info about what they do and their career path, the landscape of their industry, the needs and challenges they are currently facing (one or all of the above).

• Communicate your skills and competencies clearly and make a connection between company needs and challenges and the value you can offer.

• Ask if the person with whom you are speaking can introduce you to a colleague, so your strategic networking continues.

• Follow up with specific suggestions and/or a thank you.

The fact that hiring is down and unemployment is up is not because employers do not need to hire new talent. In many cases, it’s because the needs are significant and there are competing priorities. Combine that fact with overworked human resource professionals who must find ways to manage the stream of (sometimes random) job applicants and you have an opportunity for the job seeker to step in and fill a gap.

It’s clear that the marketplace is changing and so are the ways organizations need to look for talent and for jobseekers to communicate their value.

When I first met “Ken”, he was working in health care, and wanted to explore a different work environment where he would be more intellectually challenged and have increased opportunities to work collaboratively with colleagues.

Prior to his contacting me, Ken had half-heartedly investigated options by talking with a few people. He gave up after a couple of months because he didn’t hear of a specific job vacancy to which he might apply.

He came to me discouraged and not particularly hopeful about his prospects for a change. Being convinced that he had only scratched the surface of possibilities during his last attempt at a job search, I suggested that he think of this time as a new beginning, since it would involve new and effective strategies rather than a continuation of unsuccessful ones.

He seemed open and encouraged by this idea and we began to identify next steps. It helped that Ken was clear about his job criteria, his competencies and his priorities. With these factors in mind, he identified key questions to ask people as he explored a new professional setting and was prepared for their questions about what he wanted.

Relying solely on professional introductions made for him by friends and colleagues (as opposed to making “cold calls”), Ken found it easier this time around to meet with people in positions or settings that interested him. He began to develop a list of employers that met his criteria which made him more hopeful and motivated. We both felt that we could take a break from our work, since Ken seemed to have mastered the art of networking.

Fast forward six months later to my phone call from Ken last week…

Ken happily reported to me that several of his contacts had been in touch with him weeks after he’d met with them. He’d had two job interviews and just this week he’d received an actual job offer as well information about a position that was likely to develop in a month or two. He hoped to give his notice next month and was delighted by new prospects that sprung up unexpectedly.

Take away tip: Don’t give up on your job search because the results aren’t happening in your desired timeframe.

Taking into account those two reasons alone can give you an edge on the competition.

As a career counselor it’s incredulous to me that an applicant would waste time casting about their resume with little regard for the skills and requirements needed for the job. But, in this time of high unemployment and a scarcity of positions, it’s common practice.

If you do not have the qualifications for the job, it’s not a good idea to apply for it. You’ll just be setting yourself up for disappointment in the end. Better that you take time and focus on presenting an impressive set of documents for a position you stand a chance at getting.

When applying for a position for which you’re qualified, your resume should be tweaked according to the job description or posting. This may include reframing how you describe responsibilities and tasks so they reflect the exact language used by the prospective employer, and/or re-ordering the sequence in which you present your background, to align with priorities of the particular job.

Another frequently made mistake is submitting resumes without well-written cover letters or lacking one altogether.

Cover letters, when crafted effectively, add another piece of information about your qualifications.

• Begin your letter with the same heading from your resume and be sure to address it to a particular person, whenever possible. If no one is listed on the posting, call the company and ask to whom you should address your application letter.

• In the first paragraph identify why you are writing and where you saw the posting of the position. Then go on to state why you are a strong candidate for the job. Using a bulleted format, select requirements straight from the posting (such as: leadership, communications, organizational abilities, or strategic planning) and give an example of when you’ve used a skill or demonstrated a competency.

• End the letter with a hope for an opportunity to further discuss your background and qualifications.

I’m hearing more and more of the importance of cultivating an “internal advocate” within the organization that has posted a position for which you are applying. This “internal advocate” is different from a reference, which is typically someone who knows you and your work well. An advocate is someone who might bring your application to the hiring manager’s attention and have it pulled from somewhere in the pile of pending applications to the top.

The final strategy for getting an edge on the competition involves how you actually look for a job. More than ever before it is critical to set up “strategic conversations” with people who either do the work you are aiming for, or who might introduce you to key people in your particular area of the marketplace.

This is not the same as “networking” which often involves sipping wine and nibbling cheese at a random event in hopes that you might bump into someone who could help you in your job search. But, rather, these meetings are deliberately arranged either by you or through an introduction from a friend of colleague. They require more thought and intention than the more typical “meet and greet” situations, but the outcomes are more promising by far.

For additional tips, check out my past blogs under “job search”.

Just a decade ago, most Americans enjoyed at least seven consecutive days off from work, and many took two weeks of vacation or more.

But, work/life balance took a hit about three years ago, when the rise in gas prices gave way to the concept of a “staycation”.

This alternative to the “pack the family into the car and go” vacation had energy-saving merits, but fell short in providing true and much-needed R&R to hard working Americans.

Many of us discovered that a time off at home made it all too easy to sneak in work at the computer or answer calls with no risk of irritating the person in the lounge chair next to us at the hotel pool.

Any semblance of balance between work and play is now shifting in favor of a “life-is-work ethic”, with the majority of Americans squeezing playtime into a long weekend.

Already 1 in 7 of us, reports Joe Robinson, author of Don’t Miss Your Life, opts in favor of the “no-cation” and puts their health at risk by eliminating a verifiable stress reliever from their life.

There are many indicators that support the need for extended days of time off, including the staggering statistic that annual vacations cut the risk of heart attacks in men by 30 percent and by 50 percent in women.

Another study found the physical health, mood and quality of sleep of nurses improved after a two-week break.

Unfortunately, if a two-week vacation is necessary for health benefits to kick in, most Americans are in trouble.

But, don’t toss out your beach towel just yet. There’s hope.

If an extended vacation isn’t possible this year, plan two long weekends to recharge and shake up your daily routine—a proven way to reduce stress.

When you return, set a date and plan for a longer time off next year—the excitement in the planning will do you good.

Since she’d been out of the job market for well over a decade, Kelly was looking for a career counselor to help her with her transition to new work.

When I asked if she was eligible for outplacement services, she said she had no idea, as she was not familiar with the term.

I explained that when someone in good standing with a company or organization is laid off, it is sometimes possible to receive paid sessions with a career counselor as part of a severance/separation agreement. Many employers recognize that this assistance creates good will and gives the employee a new focus and direction after a difficult ending.

However, it’s not likely that Kelly will receive this benefit since she had already signed an agreement giving her approval of the terms of her separation.

In my conversations with human resource professionals who manage layoffs, I’ve been pleased to hear that many advise employees to seek legal counsel to review the terms of the separation agreement. This is wise and a good practice on everyone’s part.

Given her position in the organization and years of service, Kelly may have been advised to request outplacement services as part of her agreement—before she signed off on it. But now, payment for these services will come out of her pocket rather than her former employer’s.

The difference in older people’s experiences in the job search as compared to a younger generation’s has more to do with the complex issues and questions that are inherent in our later years.

For example, Jane, a woman in her late 50’s came to see me because she knew she was finished with her successful career as a management consultant. After thinking about her transition for almost a year, Jane still did not have any concrete ideas about what she would do instead of the career to which she’d been devoted for 25 years.

“It’s not as though I’m distracted from the question about what’s next by the amount of work I have. To the contrary, for some reason, the work is just not coming to me anymore. What worked in the past, no longer generates new contracts now. I feel like I’m facing into a blank slate and this has never happened to me before.”

While it was unnerving and scary for Jane to face into the reality of no work, it was also exactly what she wanted and needed—a major career change.

It’s next to impossible to effectively navigate a major life change at full throttle– which, Jane admitted, had been her preferred mode of operation.  So, her “down time” was providing her the space to regroup and reflect on what really mattered in her life.

In response to her frustration of not being able to name a new career focus, I asked Jane “What if your work for the moment was to be in that ‘place of not knowing’ and to shift your pace and expectations? How would you feel?”

“I think I’d feel relieved that what’s happening was purposeful and part of some process”, she replied.

Some say that the second half of life is more than setting goals and meeting them– a dominant theme in early years. Moreover, it is about deeply investigating the question “Who am I meant to be?”

Not only does this particular inquiry take time, but it can also influence every significant life decision you make.

If you find yourself facing into unknown territory in the second half of life, imagine that you are where you need to be.

Be open to the questions that arise that may give you clues about next steps. See if you can let your inner voice lead you instead of being led by external directives or imperatives.