That’s how a client recently began her first session with me.

As you might imagine, her descriptive statement began an interesting discussion about how she perceived her work. Despite many friends thinking she had the ideal job, my client admitted that she felt flat about it. You know–kind of how you’d see “beige” in a rainbow of possibilities.

The fact is, if you’re not interested in your work, terrific benefits, great compensation or prestige aren’t likey to change your attitude. Furthermore, feedback from others about how wonderful they think your job is can diminish your inner voice that says, “This job is not for me”.

When external messages conflict with internal ones, you may feel stuck and at an impasse about what to do.

The essential step in this case is to focus on the inner messages and sort out which are accurate and which ones are merely assumptions. For example, you may be wondering about a new job or career and when an idea comes to mind, you assume it won’t pay well or be flexible enough for your needs. Then poof! goes this possibility, deflated by assumptions that may not hold true in the real world.

If a particular idea keeps coming back to you, you should evaluate it in the following ways:

• Be clear about your criteria for your career or work transition including what you want in a work environment; skills to emphasize, topics or areas of the marketplace that interest you; compensation and benefits; and desired work culture.
• Do research on the option and determine whether or not it has the potential to fit  what you want. (Typically, you’ll get the most accurate information from people who are doing the job.)
• Set up informational meetings with several people who do this type of work so you’ll have an accurate picture of it from which to make a decision

Why not begin by asking yourself, “What color is my job?”. Then consider what that color conveys about your current feelings and whether or not you need to make a change in your work life.

Many people who are actively looking for work naively hope they won’t be asked the question: “What type of job are you looking for?”

While “I don’t really know”, may be an accurate reply, it won’t move the conversation in the right direction and help someone understand how they can assist you in your job search.

People who are not clear about their job target or are fearful about being “too picky” in this competitive job market, need to figure out an effective response to this inevitable question, or they will miss opportunities for networking that could result in useful contacts or job leads.

Having a good response to the question “what job do you want?” does not mean that you have to name a specific title or position. For example, a client of mine was on the mark when he said, “I don’t believe I need to tell people what job I’m looking for, but rather the skills I have developed that I’d like to use in my next job.”

Identifying key competencies is essential when it comes to focusing a conversation about your job target. Having examples of when you have demonstrated these skills and abilities will make you sound more credible if you’re asked to elaborate.

Eventually you’ll need to connect what you do well with employers and positions that utilize these skills. If you are considering a significant career change, explore how your abilities are “transferable” to other careers.

The following steps will help you clarify and communicate what you want in a job based on the required skills:

• Review your work history and determine the skills, talents and attributes that youconsistently brought to your positions.
• Create a résumé that effectively and clearly presents those skills. If you are changing careers or industries, consider a functional, skills-based format.
• Arrange meetings with people who work in organizations where your skills are important. Be clear that your reason for meeting is to receive help connecting your skills and interests with appropriate positions.
• Once you have identified one or several appealing possibilities, begin to shift your approach from asking for information about the jobs to requesting advice on how to secure a position.

If you have years of work experience, you’re likely to have developed a range of skills and abilities that you take for granted and which you’ve not evaluated since your last job search.

In assessing what you bring to the job market, think about those tasks you do well and for which you have received some type of recognition or positive feedback. But, don’t stop there—go further and hone in on those skills that give you satisfaction and pleasure.

This may be a new concept if you typically view a skills assessment simply as a way to determine what you do well, regardless of whether or not you enjoy using the skill set.

This mindset is short sighted in a marketplace where boredom and lack of job satisfaction extend to more than 45% of the U.S. population. Knowing what you enjoy doing well and having work that calls on those skills are key to being productive and satisfied.

Here are a few steps to help you recognize the value you bring to your work and the skills that might keep you motivated and feeling good about your job:

1. Create a timeline of your work history from your very first job. Identify positions you’ve held and the key tasks you performed. Beside each entry, list a skill, talent, or ability that you demonstrated. (If you have difficulty naming your skills, go to www.rileyguide.com for some help.)
2. Put a check next to each skill that you enjoyed using.
3. Review the timeline and note patterns of skills as well as those that you have checked. Create a separate list that includes only the checked skills.
4. Consider your current job. In any given week, how often do you use the skills you most enjoy? Does your response fit with how satisfied you feel about your job?
5. If there is a major discrepancy between the skills you use in your job and the ones you truly enjoy, it could be an indicator that it’s time to evaluate your position and possibly move on to another job.
6. If you decide to change jobs, or you are already in the job market, be sure to look beyond your ability to do key job tasks and take into account whether or not you’ll be happy doing them.

“Pleasure in the work puts perfection in the job.”  – Aristotle

Self reflection can be a good thing. It might even ward off the proverbial “midlife crisis”, a time of self-doubt and recognition of our own mortality.  It’s denial that we’re changing and aging that can set off a spin of irrational decisions that gives this time of life a bad name.

In fact, facing into the confusing questions that often accompany midlife and beyond can lead us to a greater understanding of what’s next.

Take for example, author Susan Crandell who wrote Thinking About Tomorrow: Reinventing Yourself in Midlife. Crandell, the former editor-in-chief of More Magazine, re-engineered her own life and became a freelance writer and book author.

Her inspiring book recounts the stories of a group of diverse individuals who embraced aging as a turning point, shook up their status quo and reinvented themselves in their second half of life.

Among the chapters that feature people whom Crandell refers to as “life entrepreneurs” is the story behind my annual Women’s Retreat in France, which I’ll be offering on May 28 of this year.

The profiles in Crandell’s book illustrate what can unfold when someone honestly and attentively asks: What do I want to do with the rest of my life?

To begin to explore this question yourself, consider the following:

• What am I longing to do or experience?
• Is there a part of an old dream that could be salvaged and integrated into my life now?
• What energizes and engages me? What would need to happen to bring more of that into my life?
• What helps me hear what is true for me? How can I increase that activity?
• What is most important to me at this time? Am I living my life in alignment with this priority? If not, what needs to shift so that I am true to what I value?

By exploring the compelling questions of midlife, you may come to experience George Eliot’s promising message: “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.”

However, today’s resumes are different, even compared to a few years ago. With the aim of getting the reader’s attention in just 10 seconds, they need to be crisp and to the point. Don’t even think about submitting a resume that’s over two pages, or with dense text written in a paragraph format.

Here are essential tips for a winning, and up-to-date resume:

The Heading:

• Name: While I’m a proponent of keeping to one, easy-to-read font, you could use another bolded font to highlight your name.
• Mailing Address: Providing you have an email address, your physical address is no longer essential. In fact, it could even work against you if you’re applying for a position out of state where a prospective employer might be concerned about paying relocation expenses.
• Phone Number: Don’t confuse the reader by listing more than one phone number and do record a professional outgoing message. Messages that feature barking dogs or a toddler’s attempt at a greeting are annoying, not to mention unprofessional.
• Email: Avoid cutesy email addresses that reflect your favorite hobby or college nickname. Keep it simple and clear and don’t embarrass yourself.
• LinkedIn Profile and/or Portfolio Webpage: I recommend including the URLs for one or both of these, but make sure each is up to date and complete. A portfolio webpage is essential if you are an artist of any kind.

The Heart of the Resume:

• A “Professional Profile” or “Qualifications Summary” introduces you in a particular work context and focuses your background and skills (e.g. Strategic Leader, Skilled Negotiator, Gifted Educator, Global Marketing Executive). Use a bulleted list, rather than full sentences to highlight skills and your areas of expertise.
• A “Key Competencies” section should show results and accomplishments, not just a list of tasks or your major responsibilities. Use past tense, action verbs and quantify results when possible.
• Your “Work History” need not include every job you’ve ever had. Typically, you would include 10-20 years of experience, listing the employer, position held and years (leave out the months) at the job. You may call this category “Most Relevant Employment” and list your positions according to the position to which you are applying.
• Your “Education” section may also include “Professional Development” if you choose to list selected and relevant courses and certifications. A date associated with your degree or education may reveal your age and is not necessary.
• References should not be listed, but provided if requested.

The following are good resources with dozens of examples:

The Complete Idiot’s Guide to the Perfect Resume by Susan Ireland and Resumes for Dummies by Joyce Kennedy.

●      You’ve done your research on a position, submitted your materials on time and expect to hear in a timely manner from the prospective employer–but you don’t.

●      You’ve had an interview that you think went well, but you’re not receiving any type of follow up communication.

●      You receive a job offer, present a counter-offer and are left wondering if your conditions have been accepted and what’s next.

I’ve heard dozens of variations on the above scenarios from clients. Waiting is a sign of the times. Human resource offices are often understaffed and not prepared for the deluge of job applications circulating in the marketplace.

Consider the following tips to keep you moving ahead in your job search process:

1. Don’t jump to conclusions about what’s happening or make assumptions about why you have not heard anything. Avoid thoughts like: “I didn’t get the job” or “Guess I blew it” and try to get the facts.
2. Ask yourself what else you might do to prompt a reply (e.g. make a call or send an email to your contact at the organization and inquire about their time frame for hiring).
3. Shift your focus from the job you’re pursuing to something that’s in your control, like researching another job or organization, attending a job search group (such as the Unemployed Professionals Groups that are organized through Career Centers throughout the country) or checking in with a friend for support.
4. After any job interview, request the interviewer’s business card so you can follow up with a thank you and inquiry about your candidacy and when you will hear from them.

From vacations to under-staffing, there are many reasons why you might not hear from a prospective employer in a timely way. Keep in mind that while “your” job may be foremost on your mind, it is only one of many priorities facing the human resources office or hiring manager.

In this case, the victims are unemployed or underemployed individuals who are eager or sometimes desperate to find work or wanting to present themselves in the most favorable light to prospective employers.

Here are three services to avoid if you’re looking for a job:

• Job Placement Agencies that Charge the Job Seeker a Fee

These scam artists post compelling ads that boast “private access” to job postings or guaranteed job placement. It sounds too good to be true, and it is.

They collect a fee ranging from $300-$500, only to provide on line listings anyone could have found themselves, if you can even get them to respond to you once you’ve paid them. Legitimate placement or employment agencies collect a fee from the employer who is seeking to fill positions, and they receive payment only when the employer hires their candidate.

Tip: Never pay money to an agency claiming to be able to “place” you in or guarantee you a job. Rather, inquire about job listings from legitimate, established agencies whose fees are paid by the employers. Better still, hone your strategic networking skills and be the first to learn about openings before anyone else.

• Online Resume Preparation Services

It may seem the easy way out of devoting the necessary time to revise your resume, but buyer beware. I’ve seen poor examples of resumes created by online services that charge hundreds of dollars and in each case, the resume needed an overhaul. The fact is, no one can write an effective resume for you without your full engagement in the process. Your input is vital to creating a document that accurately reflects what you want to highlight for any given job.

Tip: Avoid online résumé prep services. Instead, purchase a well-respected résumé guide like “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to the Perfect Résumé” that presents several formats with useful tips on how to word and format your life relevant experiences. Or engage the services of a career counselor who will work with you to create a winning document.

• Online Career Advice

Everyone likes to give advice, and some Internet sites are now charging large sums of money for career-related information without any training or background to back it up.

Professional career counselors typically have a master’s degree in counseling or career development along with considerable experience in career offices at colleges or universities or in corporate outplacement organizations. They are skilled in helping you assess your current situation as well as identify and evaluate options in the marketplace. Many are recognized by the National Career Development Association that holds its members to ongoing professional development standards.

Tip: Choose your guides and advisors wisely in your career transitions. Inquire about their background and relevant training to determine the career-related expertise they offer that will assist you with your goals.

While your own personal tipping points are not likely to have the impact of a Paul Revere’s ride, they, nonetheless, may be life altering for you. Recognizing these possible occurrences may put any of them in a new perspective.

A client of mine was recently impressed by a particular turn of events in his life over a 6-month period—a series of unexpected, yet welcomed pivotal or  “tipping point” encounters.

As I listened to his experiences that led up to a significant life shift, I noted several overarching themes that I thought might be universal and relevant to any person’s life journey.

Perhaps you will relate to these themes in such a way that you’ll anticipate your own pivotal moments.

1. An experience of Leaving or Loss (This could range from losing or leaving a job to the death or illness of a loved one.) Your tipping point might result in newfound resilience in the way you respond to the loss.

2. An experience of “Hitting a Wall” (A situation where, in spite of considerable effort on your part, you do not get the results you want.) Your tipping point may enhance your ability to “see” what is happening, and pivot in another direction.

3. Reaching Out (Recognizing you can not tackle this alone, you seek guidance from people outside your inner circle of typical helpers.) Your tipping point may allow a shift from being a giver to one of receiving and opening up new resources to you.

4. Being open to New Possibilities (When familiar ways no longer work, you invite new viewpoints or perspectives that refresh your perspective.) Your tipping point may give way to an attitude of “let’s see” rather than “no way”.

Notice how you respond to any of these themes or tipping points that can occur in anyone’s life. You may find that any of them may give way to a new sense of yourself or a broader view of your options.

No matter what your situation is—employed, looking for work, contemplating a new career—being in a positive frame of mind will only help you as you pursue your goal.

When things in your life seem to be out of your control and it’s affecting your attitude or mood, here are three actions you might consider to shift your perspective and support your efforts to make a change:

1. Be grateful. Numerous studies show the positive impact of gratitude on physical and emotional health. Shifting thoughts from judgment or negative ideas to recognizing something for which you are grateful can result in a surprising change in your perspective.
2. Finish something. Everyone has loose ends in their lives. Even when you are not consciously thinking about what you’ve not completed, you may feel a nagging sensation. When you close the loop on something, whether it’s a conversation, something you need to organize, or anything else that feels incomplete, you will ultimately feel a sense of satisfaction that may elevate your mood.
3. Exercise. Didn’t you just know this would be on the list? It’s accurate to say that exercise is a “magic bullet” of health and well-being. Getting into a routine of this endorphin-releasing activity is hard to do, but studies show that even 10-15 minutes of exercise daily has benefits that include mood enhancement.

Is your goal a different position with your current employer? Work at a new company? A plan for alternative work or service in your retirement years? Or a totally new career path that requires further education?

Whatever your goal, you can build momentum by taking specific steps toward it.

You’ve heard of the ripple effect: a situation where an initial action can incrementally lead to other results like expanding ripples across water when an object is dropped into it. This same effect can take shape with steps leading to your goal.

Based on successful career transitions I’ve witnessed, here are a few steps to move your goal forward in this New Year:

• Make space in your life.

Do you talk about how busy you are and wish for more time to get things done? Though it may seem odd, pausing, rather than doing more, is a paradoxical way to more effectively reach your goal. When your mind and daily schedule are full, there’s no room for new ideas, let alone the additional tasks necessary to make important changes. It’s amazing how a few minutes of reflective time, writing in a journal, a walk in nature, or taking slow deep breaths, can shift feeling stuck or overwhelmed.

• Ask “what” rather than “how”.

Inherent in a transition is the demanding question “how”. But early stage transitions are typically not developed enough to address “how” questions and may cause you to give up prematurely.

Protect your ideas and shift your question to “what”. Once you’re clear about the specifics of your goal, the “how” questions become less important and you’ll be more motivated to consider your next step.

• Take action on what is in your control.

Do something each day toward your goal and don’t underestimate the significance of any step. Focus on things that you can do – like setting up an informational interview, exploring a company website or revising your resume—and let go of things you cannot control.

The esteemed German writer, Goethe said: “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!”